Consider this case \u2013 Hasina started the coaching conversation by saying \u201cI\u2019ve moved into a new role where I\u2019m working directly with the head of the unit. I\u2019m feeling overwhelmed because he\u2019s constantly telling me what I should be doing differently. I find myself withdrawing and nodding my head in agreement even though I really don\u2019t agree. I want to be able to present my thinking in a clear and assertive manner\u201d<\/p>\n
Take a minute to review the questions below and mark against each whether it is a good coaching question to ask in this context or not.<\/p>\n
Please be prepared for some disappointment because I\u2019m not going to tell you which of these are good questions and not 😃. Here are 5 questions to ask yourself to decide whether the question is a good question or not.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re re-reading this muttering to yourself \u201caren\u2019t all questions for the client?\u201d, it\u2019s interesting to note how often in a coaching conversation we ask questions for our own sake. For us to get a clear view of the situation, for us to understand the dynamics involved.<\/p>\n
The underlying premise is \u201cIf I understand this clearly, I will be able to guide the client to the right solution\u201d \u2013 which hopefully we all agree is not a coaching approach.<\/p>\n
Look at the difference between \u201cWhat are the issues he finds fault with?\u201d and \u201cDo you see a pattern in the kinds of issues he finds fault with?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first is asking the client to share what she is already aware of; the second is inviting her to look more closely at the situation.<\/p>\n
If you find that your questions are eliciting quick answers from the client, it\u2019s possible that you are collecting information for your sake. Questions that invite the client to think typically involve some slowing down and reflection on the client\u2019s part.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re all consummate problem solvers and it\u2019s easy to get into asking questions that are focused on solving the problem at hand i.e. improving the specific situation that the client is facing. That is indeed the desired end goal and why clients come to us; however when we assume we can achieve that by only focusing on the situation\u2026.that\u2019s when we can get stuck.<\/p>\n
Look at the difference between \u201cWhat techniques have you seen other people use to manage his behaviour?\u201d versus \u201cWhat\u2019s going on within you at the moment when you withdraw?\u201d The first is focused purely on tactics and strategies the client could use; the second is inviting a deeper exploration for her underlying reasons. Both are valid \u2013 however an over-reliance on the first could result in a surface level solution.<\/p>\n
I find it helps to remind myself that the client has been thinking deeply about the question she has brought into coaching and therefore it is hubris on my part to think that I will be able to find a solution that she has not already considered and brushed aside. New options will emerge only when new aspects of the person are uncovered. <\/p>\n
It would be very tempting for a coach to ask Hasina, right after she shares her goal, \u201cso what do you think you could do about this?\u201d<\/p>\n
If you\u2019ve been at the receiving end of a question timed like this, you\u2019ll know just how frustrating it is\u2026.the assumption in asking a question like this is that the client has done no thinking about the situation and by the coach just asking the question, an answer will miraculously reveal itself.<\/p>\n
Options emerge only as a result of a deep exploration of the reality; external reality and internal reality.<\/p>\n
A question like \u201cHow do you define \u201cclear and assertive\u201d?\u201d is very tempting to ask. If you\u2019re feeling stuck and unsure about where to go, then asking a client for a definition of a phrase they used is an easy option.<\/p>\n
However, like in school, definitions tend to keep us at a cognitive, head level space. I can talk till the cows come home about what assertiveness means without ever really engaging with what that meaning holds for me.<\/p>\n
Ask questions that get clients to connect with themselves \u2013 in this case for example \u201chow do you feel when you have been clear and assertive on other situations\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s going on within you at the moment when you withdraw?\u201d It is in this connection that clients can find answers for themselves.<\/p>\n
The underpinning idea for this is that when a client is not finding an answer in their current way of viewing themselves\/the world, it is useless to search in the same place. What is useful is to help clients define the issue in a different way, articulate a goal differently for themselves and to take into account information they may be discounting.<\/p>\n
Powerful questions are those that provoke the client to think, feel or react differently about the issue at hand with the information they already have.<\/p>\n
Questions like these \u201cHow much of your strengths and resources are you using in these conversations?\u201d \u201cIf you were as potent in these conversations as you know you are capable of being, what would that look like?\u201d \u201cWhat are you believing to be true here \u2013 about yourself, your manager and the situation?\u201d
\nSo those are the five questions \u2013 I\u2019d love to hear if this was useful for you; if you have questions. Please write back!<\/p>\n
For more information about our ICF accredited coach training programs, please click here \u2013 http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/icf-accredited-coach-training\/<\/a>. Are all questions powerful questions? Consider this case \u2013 Hasina started the coaching conversation by saying \u201cI\u2019ve moved into a new role where I\u2019m working directly with the head of the unit. I\u2019m feeling overwhelmed because he\u2019s constantly telling me what I should be doing differently. I find myself withdrawing and nodding my head in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17439,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","category-coaching"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nCheck out http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/executive-coaching\/<\/a> for more information about the leadership coaching we offer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"