{"id":18213,"date":"2023-07-14T05:29:29","date_gmt":"2023-07-14T05:29:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/?p=18213"},"modified":"2023-07-14T05:29:29","modified_gmt":"2023-07-14T05:29:29","slug":"the-quiet-coach-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/the-quiet-coach-16\/","title":{"rendered":"The Quiet Coach &#8211; 16"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>Setting up a three way coaching process<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve been asked by the leader of an organisation I\u2019m working with to coach his direct team. Do I talk to him first or to the team? What can I share? Does the contract have to be signed in blood by all parties?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ok, so perhaps I may have made up that last part.<\/p>\n<p>I was asked these questions last week by a conscientious coach doing their first 3-way coaching engagement and figured it would be helpful to put down what I shared.<\/p>\n<p>Disclaimer \u2013 this is our approach at <a href=\"http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/executive-coaching\/\">Navgati<\/a>,  built over a decade of trial and error. You may choose to use a different approach and that\u2019s fine. What is non-negotiable though is that all three parties have the same understanding of that approach.<\/p>\n<h3>What makes a 3-way contract more complex than a 2-way one?<\/h3>\n<p>To start with, the three parties we\u2019re talking about here are the stakeholder (could be the client\u2019s manager; the HR partner or a senior sponsor), the client and the coach.<\/p>\n<p>So yes, sometimes it could be a 4-way or a 5-way contract but the approach we\u2019re outlining here for a 3-way would apply to manage the dynamics even with more parties involved.<\/p>\n<p>The complexity of a 3-way comes from the fact that<\/p>\n<ul>\n<dl>-the client and the stakeholder may have differing views of what coaching is meant to achieve<\/dl>\n<dl>&#8211;        there may be hidden agendas from either of those two parties<i> (\u201ccoach them so I can feel I\u2019ve done my best before asking them to leave\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll agree to be coached so I come across as interested in development even if I don\u2019t believe in coaching\u201d etc)<\/i><\/dl>\n<dl>&#8211;        there are other dimensions to the relationship between the client and the stakeholder (eg the stakeholder also needs to make performance decisions and could end up using data from coaching to do so)<\/dl>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Clear contracting is vital to reducing issues that could crop up as a result of these complexities.<\/p>\n<h3>So a leader has expressed interest in having me coach their team members; what\u2019s the first thing I should do?<\/h3>\n<p>The first step would be to clarify what the process of coaching is and what the roles of the three parties are \u2013 to both the stakeholder and the clients. Typically this would be in the form of a short call with the stakeholder and either individual calls with the clients; or a group session with them.<\/p>\n<p>Most of you would be familiar with how to do this in a 2-way coaching engagement (please comment if you\u2019d like a blog on that) so let\u2019s focus on the role of the stakeholder.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What is the role of the stakeholder?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<dl>&#8211;        To provide inputs to the client, before the coaching process starts, on what developmental goals would be helpful for them and the organisation<\/dl>\n<dl>&#8211;        To ratify the final goals that the client articulates for themselves (in a session with the coach \u2013 more details coming up)<\/dl>\n<dl>&#8211;        To provide support and feedback as the client works towards their goals<\/dl>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The stakeholder will often want to give the coach inputs about the client. While it is ok to listen, the one question you must ask is \u201chave you shared this in as direct a manner with the client?\u201d. If the answer to that is no, ask the stakeholder to do so. Coaching is not a substitute for feedback and it can be very stressful (and unethical) for a coach to try and maneuver the client towards the outcomes their stakeholder wants.  <\/p>\n<p>In terms of the process, this is what we would normally present upfront (let\u2019s assume it\u2019s a ten session contract):<\/p>\n<table class=\"trainingtable ubunR\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Pre-meetings<\/td>\n<td> Clarify what coaching is; what the process is and what the roles of the three people are.<br \/>\nEnds with all parties committing to what has been discussed.\n <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Coaching conversation 1<\/td>\n<td>Help the client clarify their goals for coaching<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>3-way meeting to clarify the goals<\/td>\n<td>The client presents their goals to their stakeholder who ratifies.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Coaching conversations 2-10<\/td>\n<td>Coach and client work together to deepen the client\u2019s awareness and further the action they need to take.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>3-way meeting to review progress<\/td>\n<td>The client presents their journey vis-a-vis their goals to the stakeholder<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<h3>Both the stakeholder and the clients are clear about the process, our roles and the administrative details. The stakeholder has shared feedback with the client. Now what?<\/h3>\n<p>You start with a session with the client focusing on contracting for change \u2013 helping them identify the 3-4 areas they would like to work through with you.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s one format I have used that works well, feel free to create your own. You will use questions to help the client articulate the content \u2013 here\u2019s a sample of what could come up.<\/p>\n<table class=\"trainingtable ubunR\">\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th>Goal area<\/th>\n<th>Desired end state<\/th>\n<th> Questions we need to address in coaching for you to reach the end state<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Build my personal brand with stakeholders in a manner that feels authentic to me<\/td>\n<td> I will own conversations with my stakeholders and drive them towards agendas that are relevant.<\/p>\n<p>I will prepare for these conversations in the spirit of collaboration, seeing them as partners rather than as evaluators.<\/p>\n<p>I will be representing achievement and potential accurately, without feeling like I\u2019m pushing or selling\n<\/td>\n<td>\n<ul>\n<li>     What do I use my 1:1 for if I don\u2019t have news to communicate? Will they be interested?<\/li>\n<li>      Isn\u2019t it self-promoting to tom-tom one\u2019s work?<\/li>\n<li>     Are my standards (of what is good enough to talk about) too high? Others seem to talk up about much smaller achievement.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It is ok for you to make notes and share these back with the client (or even use a whiteboard to capture these as you are speaking with them) \u2013 however make sure you use their language and don\u2019t introduce new ideas into how you capture the goals.<\/p>\n<p>The next session is a 3-way where the coach starts by setting the context that the intent is to make sure there is common understanding of the goals the client is working towards and the support they need. Invite the client to present the goals and invite the stakeholder to comment.<\/p>\n<p>The next few sessions are the coach working with the client; the process ends with another 3-way where the client presents back to the stakeholder \u2013 what they learnt; what they experimented with etc. Invite the stakeholder to share what they have observed (you may need to prep them to focus on positive validation) and ask both to talk about what they see as the way forward.  <\/p>\n<h3>The stakeholder is very invested in coaching and wants me to share updates on the process. What can I share?<\/h3>\n<p>This should be an important part of your contracting before the process starts \u2013 that in order to make the process safe for the client, the coach will not be sharing any feedback about them with the stakeholder. It would be ok for the client to share inputs on the process (e.g. if a client does not show up for sessions, the coach does not have to keep that confidential) but nothing of the content of the conversation will be shared by the coach.  <\/p>\n<p>In the closing session, it would be ok for the coach to share broad strokes about the client\u2019s commitment to the process; their willingness to reflect and act etc. Do make sure you don\u2019t share any specific insights they had etc.<\/p>\n<h3>Have more questions? I\u2019d love to hear them. Please comment generously.<\/h3>\n<p>For more information about our ICF accredited coach training programs, please click here \u2013 <a href=\"http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/icf-accredited-coach-training\/\">http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/icf-accredited-coach-training<\/a>.<br \/>\nCheck out <a href=\"http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/executive-coaching\/\">http:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/executive-coaching\/<\/a> for more information about the leadership coaching we offer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Setting up a three way coaching process \u201cI\u2019ve been asked by the leader of an organisation I\u2019m working with to coach his direct team. Do I talk to him first or to the team? What can I share? Does the contract have to be signed in blood by all parties?\u201d Ok, so perhaps I may [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","category-coaching"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Quiet Coach - 16 - Navgati<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/projects.rapidmind.in\/navgati\/the-quiet-coach-16\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Quiet Coach - 16 - Navgati\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Setting up a three way coaching process \u201cI\u2019ve been asked by the leader of an organisation I\u2019m working with to coach his direct team. 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